Low sex drive in women is common, especially mums. Many of women come to believe that the occasions on which women ‘feel horny’ are reduced and further between as women get older. Women’s sex drive gets put back firmly in its box by tiredness, body hang-ups or the comfy familiarity of our relationships. But where has women’s sex drive gone? Why has it deserted women? And will it ever come back?
On the physical side, low sex drive in women can be linked with diabetes, anemia, hyperprolactinaemia (over activity of pituitary gland), the hormonal abnormalities, or possibly a side-effect of prescription drugs.
For new mums, low sex drive in women commonly generally known as post-baby ‘coolness’, a misleading term that indicates that the female is being wilfully non-responsive. The fact is, she is responding to a heady and sexually debilitating cocktail of:
- Crazy hormonal spikes that happen following childbirth and during breastfeeding
- Off-putting recent experiences of childbirth (particularly if that was traumatic)
- De-sexualisation of the body (Disenchantment with ‘down there’ after what it is been through; and also the feeling that, when breastfeeding your baby, the boobs BELONG to your baby – not you, and definitely not your other half).
- Utter and complete exhaustion.
She is experiencing a thousand conflicting and powerful emotions, her body feels battered and strange… and she is completely drained.
The reason for low sex drive in women is both physical and psychological. Not just in mothers, but in females in general, sexual dysfunction is generally as a result of a psychological issue, such as stress, depression or anxiety. We all believe the importance of our minds in ‘getting there’ and so it is acceptable that whenever we are having a bad time mentally, we go off the boil intimately.
How to Revive Low Sex Drive in Women?
Perhaps the 1st step is honesty with the partner. If you are ‘not feeling it’ it is for sure the best solution to be as open as possible – both with yourself and with the partner – about where you believe the problem lies. Often times, just getting it off your chest often is all that is need to build intimacy again.
Should you feel like there is physical issue at the root of your low sex drive, then it is very important to find help. Visit your doctor in the first instance, obtain a referral to see a Pelvic Specialist or Women’s Health Physiotherapist or a see woman doctor at a birth control clinic who could talk about the problem with you and conduct any necessary tests.
Should you feel a difficult psychological problem is affecting you then visit with your Doctor and get help, and a referral where required.
If ongoing low sex drive is starting to affect the relationship, seek advice from a specialist such as Relate. They are really experienced in these issues and can help you work positively towards a resolution.
Can’t I Simply Take a Pill?
Bodily hormones are often suggested as a treatment for FSAD (‘female arousal disorder’), especially the male sex hormone testosterone. There certainly is some medical facts to support this. Having said that, side-effects include hairiness, a deep voice, spots, and enlargement of the clitoris. Absolutely no!
It is more important to find the support and also understanding of a partner who understands how you are feeling, what you are dealing with… and the ways to get you excited in bed.
If you speak about things and generate an atmosphere in which it is okay to try things out in a relaxed way, then simply you are well on the road to recover the fun of sex. Consider toys, lubes and so playful games – and smile about it if everything doesn’t quite go to plan.
Feel Better about You
Low body confidence is definitely a turn-off (for you and partner). If you think your wobbly bits cause you to cringe, if you do not like seeing yourself naked, then simply you will need to take small steps towards learning how to love yourself a little bit more.
Most women be distressed about how their post baby body looks up close or even from certain angles, and lose a few of their sexual self-esteem as a result of the way they think they look. You know what? Person looking at you from there… is getting laid. They are happy & grateful. So relax and enjoy yourself!
Workout and good nutrition can do wonders for your mind and body, so make alterations to the way you are living and this will certainly come with a positive impact on your sex drive!